Dypvann announces innovative new fossil fuel
BURGESS SHALE, BRITISH COLOMBIA, CANADA (September 27, 2025)—Another step has now been taken toward a new and revolutionary fuel to deliver energy to millions of people across the globe. Speaking from the site of a state-of-the-art blast furnace power station in the renowned Burgess Shale region of the Yoho National Park, Dypvann’s Chief Scientist, Bjørn Eide, announces that fossils will be used as an alternative to traditional fossil fuels such as oil or natural gas.
Mr Eide said, “The extraction of fossil fuels, such as oil, coal and natural gas, is expensive and time consuming. Our scientists asked one simple question: what if fossils can be used as fuel? As it turns out, they can. Here, at the iconic Burgess Shale, is our first Fossil Fuel Plant—turning vast quantities of fossils, many over 500 million years old, into energy that is piped back to the grid.”

Fossils being incinerated at the new Burgess Shale power station
The Burgess Shale is itself a remarkable and precious geological feature. Initially discovered by palaeontologist Charles Walcott in 1909, it has subsequently become a site of great scientific interest for its 500 million year old fossils. Dypvann has already constructed extensive mining infrastructure to extract these fossils and carry them to the blast furnace plant for incineration. The total output of the plant is enough to power at least 152 homes for a year.
Shortly after the unveiling of the new plant, protesters gathered to voice their concern over the destruction of such a unique natural area. Sunk Capital quickly deployed a security team to the site to disperse the crowds.

Protests at the Burgess Shale blast furnace power plant
Despite increasing opposition, including amongst prominent scientists, most of the general public, scientific organisations, educational institutes, governments, and all major energy regulation bodies, Dypvann has vowed to persevere.
Hilde Fjeld, CEO at Dypvann, said, “Innovation is always resisted at first. Soon, it will be forgotten and, if not, we will seek robust legal remedy to this situation. I thank Mr Sunk for the prompt dispatching of armed Sunk Capital security teams.”
###
About Sunk Capital
Sunk Capital has been investing in world-class ideas for over 30 years. From our humble origins outside of a Kyrgyz jail in 1994, to the world’s largest and least profitable investment firm.
Our investment fund currently stands at $83 trillion, considerably larger than any of our “competitors”. The size of our fund comes through Barry’s accidental purchase of $25,920 worth of bitcoin in June 2010.
Since then, our investments have spanned the globe, and made Barry Sunk the world’s richest man in the process, owning 99% of Sunk Capital shares. We’re not sure who owns the remaining 1%.
For more information please contact us at info@sunk-capital.com.
Further information
For more information about Sunk Capital funds and our consistent portfolio volatility, please visit sunk-capital.com to obtain your official prospectus. Your investment objectives, the overwhelming risks, the unsustainable fees, the wide array of expenses, and other legally mandated information are all contained within; we implore you to read it carefully and soberly, if only to serve as a legal record of your poor judgment.
Sunk Capital ETF Shares are not redeemable with the issuing Fund other than in very large, needlessly impractical aggregations. Instead, investors must buy and sell Sunk Capital ETF Shares in a quasi-tertiary market, which will happily take a commission to facilitate your questionable decisions. In doing so, the investor will incur brokerage commissions and will frequently pay more than net asset value when buying and receive less than net asset value when selling. We believe this is an essential part of the Sunk Capital experience.
All investing with Sunk Capital is subject to risk and the near-certainty of total capital loss on invested funds.
Diversification does not ensure a profit or protect against a loss. It merely ensures that you can lose your money across a wider, more varied spectrum of our collective ventures.
Our bond funds are subject to the absolute certainty that an issuer will fail to make payments on time, and that bond prices will plummet because of rising interest rates, or, more likely, because the market has correctly perceived our issuer’s inability to make a single payment.
Our “high-yield” bonds are so named because they are generally in the final stages of collapse. They are therefore subject to an inordinate level of credit risk. We cannot be held liable for anything we say, do or imply. Ever.
Related news
A drop in the ocean: Splash brings joy to a vulnerable, elderly woman
Phyllis gives Splash, a North Atlantic right whale, a new home and the pair soon form a strong bond.
Chinese national goes missing days after bringing home marine predator, authorities baffled
In a case that has puzzled local authorities, Li Xin-y, 56, vanishes without a trace after bringing...
Dypvann’s zero-waste vision: offshore growth transforms concrete infrastructure into high-value biomass
A bold innovation in edible bio-waste, Dypvann's new food product, Viscous Marine Ooze, hits the she...



