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HARDY REEF, AUSTRALIA (November 4, 2025)—Sunk Capital today announces the purchase of the entire Great Barrier Reef from the Australian government. The total amount paid has been kept private at the request of the officials involved, but is understood to have been confirmed at exactly $509.6 billion.

The Great Barrier Reef is one of nature’s most spectacular sights, and the world’s largest coral reef system. Made up of over 900 islands and stretching 2,300 kilometers across 344,000 square kilometers, the reef is known for both its abundance of wildlife and the ecological damage caused by global warming.

As part of the inaugural buyers ceremony, the words “Sunk Capital” were spelled out with the aid of 2,891 red barrels, courtesy of Dypvann who kindly sponsored the sale party. The barrels were unable to be retrieved. It is hoped that the corrosive red paint will attract wildlife to make use of the rusting, former depleted uranium storage drums as makeshift habitats. 

Barry Sunk, CEO at Sunk Capital, said, “I’ve wanted to visit the Great Barrier Reef for years, but I rarely have the time for sightseeing trips. I thought to myself—why not buy it, and then have a section transported to New York so I can easily visit whenever I like. Not to mention it will make the Hudson River considerably more attractive as a tourist destination.”

Barry Sunk signs a deal with the Australian government to purchase the entire Great Barrier Reef.

The purchase deal was signed last week in the headquarters of the Australian Environmental Agency, and approved shortly after by parliament in an overwhelming “yes” vote.

Xaggaragnax the Unending Terror, Legal Counsel at Sunk Capital, said, “There was initially almost total resistance to Sunk Capital’s attempt at purchasing the Great Barrier Reef. Thankfully, the willpower of these puny elected humans was swiftly overcome through dark magics and a spate of unattributed flayings. I am pleased the MP’s voted in favour of our motion.” 

Sasha Moody speaks to the press about Sunk Capital’s latest purchase.

Not everyone is happy with the purchase of one of the most extensive, fragile aquatic ecosystems on the planet. Concerns have been raised by environmental charities and scientists, with some going as far as publicly calling for the nullification of the purchase deal and the criminal prosecution of Sunk Capital. 

Sasha Moody, Director at marine research charity Understanding Water, said, “This is completely unprecedented. I cannot fathom quite how the Australian government thought it would be a good idea to sell off one the country’s most precious natural habitats. This purchase is catastrophic for wildlife and the people of Australia.”

Xaggaragnax the Unending Terror gives a press conference outside a government building.

Xaggaragnax the Unending Terror said, “We are not shy to address the criticism of Sunk Capital’s plans to relocate sections of the Great Barrier Reef to the United States.” When pressed for further comment, Xaggaragnax the Unending Terror’s eyes flashed red before he vanished in a cloud of black mist that smelled somewhat like an ancient tomb.

Since her comments to the media, Sasha Moody has been listed as a missing person by Queensland authorities. Her apartment was found smeared with blood and viscera in the shape of a pentagram, though local police have said that their investigation is focused on questionable CCTV footage handed in by a member of the Sunk Capital legal team showing that a person with a vague resemblance to Ms. Moody may have fled to Indonesia.

A piece of the Great Barrier Reef is lowered into place in the Hudson River.

The dismantling of sections of the Great Barrier Reef, with the support of major fracking companies, took place ahead of the transport operation to relocate 152 of the reef islands to the Hudson River.

Cameron Verity, Operations Director at ecological consultancy Green Fist, said, “This operation has been planned for over a year in anticipation that substantial bribes would push the sale through. Sections of the reef were cut up and transported with the assistance of 27 container ships belonging to YourPort. There is now an extensive coral reef system running for a 2-mile length of the Hudson River, just offshore of Manhattan. Tourists are encouraged to visit before the hastily assembled ecosystem collapses.”

The Hudson River with the new section of the Great Barrier Reef installed.